This

My first PSX (original european series) got baked on a hot summer in the year that the PSX was released in Europe. It was just called the PlayStation then. The baking was totally explainable. It was in a cramped position so the air couldn’t circulate very well. It was stunningly hot and I was Soul Edge for hours on end. As said, totally explainable and on top of that Sony got me a free replacement even though the warranty period was over. Never had any overheating problems with my NES or SNES so this was a completely new but unwelcome experience for me.

Ever since that moment I have been vigilant about overheating. My consoles are always placed in well ventilated spots in accordance with the placement instructions in the manual and I’m careful not to push them too much when the temperature is up. This formula has been succesful until a few days ago when my GPU got damaged so much that even a stone head drunk like me could spot the obvious graphics glitches. Now I already posted about that so I will not divulge any more but please let me demonstrate the lengths to which people go to keep their Wii cooled down.

If this isn’t next gen gaming then I don’t know what is. Look and behold…

Really, look at the movie and then read on… I know it’s tedious but please sit it out it. It gets better towards the end.

The first thing that strikes me about this movie is the Wii setup. It is positioned maybe two feet from the wall and there are wide open spaces on every other way. How on earth is this thing able to overheat? Well trust me folks – it can and it does.

The dude gives us some advice to keep our Wiis positioned on an angle towards the wall. This creates a pocket of extra air space for the system to breathe in and although it sounds strange it actually makes some sense and maybe I’ll apply a slight angle to my Wii positioning when it comes back. Yeah right… I think I’m going crazy here… There should’ve been enough room to breathe for my Wii. You could house an elephant in that spot dammit.

We are also told that we should use the included stand when positioning the Wii on its side. I did this and can tell you that it is no guarantee to prevent overheating. When I realized what was wrong with my Wii I proclaimed that I would put it just flat on its back the next time but now I read that that also can cause problems because that is the side where the motherboard is mounted and where most heat is generated… WTF? What in our good lord’s name is wrong with this damn console? If it was the fucking most powerful console on earth or capable of creating a wormhole to some distant galaxy then it can overheat. No, what we have here is the worlds latests and most underpowered console which is capable over overheating itself to death by doing… Wait for it… Nothing whatsoever!

Yeah you heared me right… It overheats itself by doing nothing. Well, maybe that is slightly offsetting. To be accurate, it is doing the “WiiConnect24” thing. I thought this would auto update my Wii system with latest patches but now I’m not really sure about that anymore. All I know is that it will slowly but surely kill your graphics processor.

From the video we learn that we need a desktop ventilator to keep our Wii cool. Yeah, that is really next gen gaming. Keeping the least powerful console of this time cool with a noisy fan while we are playing games of the 80’s or having the damn system standby on connect mode doing nothing.

Can’t wait to have my Wii back so I can put it in an position angled to the wall, put a desktop fan (or two) next to it to blow away the heat, activate WiiConnect24 again and wait for the sparse updates to arrive so I can see the blue tray light flashing out of nowhere for one or two seconds every two months. Just imagine the anxiety: will it overheat or will it not? How long can I disable one or two fans before the infamous matrix of fucked up pixels appears? Forget the PS3, now your playing with power: Nintendo power and it actually fucks you up in real life. How is that!

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2 Comments

  1. He Bas! Nice to see u posting again ๐Ÿ™‚ Interesting story about ur Wii..I am just as sensitive about my PS3 ๐Ÿ˜‰

    What’s ur favorite game (for each console) so far?

  2. Hey Yana, Iร‚ยดm so sorry that it took me so long to reply… Heck, took me almost a month to find your comment (terrible, I know). Currently my favorite for the Wii is probably Super Paper Mario because I played that most. Unfortunately I lost my +20 hour save when my Wii was replaced so I will have to start over some time.

    For the PS3, my favorite is Uncharted but the one I play most is Oblivion. I really had to get used to the level-up system and, even though I still prefer a more traditional scheme, the game is incredibly balanced and very playable.

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